At 3 PM this afternoon I was making my way eastbound on Interstate 80 just a few miles outside of Tooele and a few more shy of Magna when my car exploded.
K, it didn’t explode. But the engine died with a large cloud of white smoke billowing behind me. Five hundred feet later and I was stopped on the side of the road with the Great Salt Lake on my left, and Kennecott on my right.
Three and a half hours later and my car is parked at the auto shop and I’m sitting in my parents’ living room in KTown with a small pile of clothes and essentials to get me through the week since I work just a block away from their house.
I’m grateful that I am blessed to have family so close, and so prepared, that they can help me when life kicks me down like this. I’m grateful I didn’t freeze in my car, but that I had an extra coat and some gloves to keep me warm. I’m grateful that it was still daylight and I didn’t need to fear too much that a semi cruising at 80+ mph was going to rocket through my tiny Kia.
But man, this sucks.
I’m kind of freaking out in my head right now. I’m starting to doubt I can make it through this year. I’m secretly wishing that the past six years have been a bad dream and that tomorrow I’ll wake up able to make all the right decisions this time round.
But wait, I can have hope.
A friend of mine mentioned on her blog that her word that she chose to define her year last year was hope. That’s what I need right now, so I choose to claim it.
I can have hope. I don’t know how, and I expect I’ll learn this year, but I can reclaim that gift.
I used to be full of hope. I’ve let life beat me down a little too much. Time to stand back up and face it straight on.
K, I’m headed to temple on Saturday.*
Gotta cultivate hope. I choose to have it. It’s gonna happen.
(Yes, I said it as if I was Jewish. I think it sounds cool, and peculiar, and slightly reminiscent of Arrested Development. (Which makes sense seeing as how Jewish their humor was) Sue me.)